Best Wedding MC Jokes - How to Make a Wedding Ceremony Highly Enjoyable

There are many duties that the Master/Mistress of Ceremony have to cover, such as announcements, planning and leading the flow of the ceremony, and introducing the Bride and Groom. However, I am going to be specific, and stick to the art of telling jokes, and how to be successful with them. There will also be free "wedding MC jokes" provided as well.

If you were chosen to be the MC, then congratulations!! You may be the Best Man, Maid of Honor, relative or both. It does not matter who you are, you just want to make sure that you leave a positive and lasting effect on the Bride and Groom for the rest of their lives...because they will remember everything (Don't let that scare you...especially if you are inexperienced.).

If you do not know the bride and groom, get to know them. However, the chances are that you may know the bride and groom well. Either way, talk to them and find out how they envision their wedding reception, what they want, and how they want it. Remember, this is their day.

Secondly, if you are like most people, you need to do some thorough researching on jokes. Choose "wedding MC jokes" that make you laugh. Don't choose jokes you do not like, or do not get. When you finally choose jokes that make you laugh, you may have to re-tune them to how you speak. (Re-tuning them to how you and your audience speak, will also enable you to deliver your jokes with more ease and professionalism like how a waterfall never halts, you will be able to deliver jokes like a true comedian.) There is nothing wrong with re-wiring the joke to fit how you and your audience speak as long as you keep the punch-line. According to Dictionary.com, the meaning of punch-line is, "the climactic phrase or sentence in a joke, speech, advertisement, or humorous story that produces the desired effect.

For example, here are some "Wedding MC Jokes" to illustrate the punch-line:

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

This one-liner joke is simple and hardly needs to be re-tuned to you. However, there are many ways in which people speak, and you might find that you can make a minor change by saying, " the best way/ a sure way/ a sure-fire way/ to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." The first couple of words may have been changed, but the last part of the joke remains intact because it is the punch-line.

Why are husbands like lawnmowers? They are hard to get started, they give off foul odors, and do not work half the time.

According to how your audience speaks, you could make many changes to this joke. For instance, according to where you live, you may call lawnmowers something else. If this true for you, then it might be a good idea to use the word according to that particular region. Just remember to keep the answer intact.

Thirdly, do not be offensive. Do not be offensive to the bride and the groom or to the parent in-laws. Stay away from mother-in-law jokes. For example, do not use this wedding joke or wedding jokes like it:

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, 'OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.

Stick with clean jokes. You must keep in mind that the jokes you tell have a strong reflection on you. For example, if you tell jokes with wives nagging or taking, and you keep using them, people are going to start thinking that your marriage may not be so great, and if your wife is at the wedding...well, let's not go there. The point is people may begin to not regard you as highly, and you don't want that. You want to keep the audience on your side. Jokes about marriage being negative or equivalent to losing freedom are not good either. (In my opinion, I would stick with jokes that do not scare newlyweds, but rather jokes that would foreshadow a happy/successful marriage) Therefore, try not to use jokes like this one:

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

You may be saying, "Well, what's so bad about this joke?" I will answer you by saying that marriage is supposed to by happy, and because of that husband and wife should want each other equally. Therefore, try to keep your jokes positive.

Present yourself as a warm, caring, loving, and appreciative person. This will ensure your audience's attachment to you and they will be willing and ready to hear what you have to say, especially if you prove to be funny. The way you present yourself is everything. Nobody likes a person who tries to steal the lime-light, especially if you're stealing it away from the bride and groom.

After you find your "wedding MC jokes", memorize them like the back of your hand. Memorize them like your life depends on it. After you have your jokes in your head, test them out on some friends and family. Did they laugh (at you and not the joke)? Did they give a tawdry fake laugh? Or did they just stare at you with dry, blank, and lifeless eyes? If so, don't let that get you down.

Let them know how important this is to you, and ask them for feedback. It could be as little as something as presentation. Did you raise your voice on all the right parts with the right amount of emphasis? Did you give the dramatic pause? All of this is important when telling a joke. Telling jokes must become like a second nature to you.

Once again, just practice and rehearse your "Wedding MC Jokes" in front of an audience (who is honest and who does not beat around the bush trying to preserve your feelings, and therefore is not giving you the proper feedback you need to survive...I mean be successful!).

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
(J. Krishnamurti)

A heart that loves is always young.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Aristotle
(Greek Proverb)

By all means marry; if you get a good wife/husband, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
(Winnie the Pooh)

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
(Sarah Bernhardt)

Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "Yes dear".

This couple were married for 67 years. The husband/wife was asked; if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce. "Heavens no" he/she replied. Murder yes, but never divorce.

Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail.

My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That.

A great joke to use at the end of the Wedding Ceremony

I wanted to make a short toast of my own. I’ve known John and Jane for a few years now, and I’ve seen them make a lot of tough decisions together. Some good decisions and some not-so-good decisions. I’m just glad that I could be here today to witness them make the best decision of their lives …

...dramatic pause...

Choosing me as their MC.

While the audience is clapping, you can bow to them, and mouth "thank you guys so much" to the bride and groom.